PTSD?

I was born of lust ,according to my mother, an accident, according to my father.
They divorced after I was 3 years old.
Soon after that, an uncle showed me sexuality, that was wrong, but he was gentle.
I became a big sister when I was 4 and a half for the first time.
My grandparents LOVED me, my grandma hugged me and we baked, my grandpa gave the best back rubs, they both made me feel good.
I was an odd child at school, at 8 I had a friend, she died after being hit by a school bus in front of me.
I ran away a lot. I ran from my fears, I ran from my mother's abuse, I ran from the police who came after me, and they always took me home.
My mom didn't like me much, I know she did her best to provide material things, a house in a good area, I had ballet, diving, swimming, but she worked long hours and was an angry and harsh woman.
As a teen I chased too many boys.
My first suicide attempt was at 15.
I left home before I was 18 and got my sister out of there soon after.
I lived at the YWCA (the women's Y)
I married at 21 and became a mom at 22, our marriage lasted only 5 years 5 months.
Tried to create a new family, with a new man, that lasted only 4 years.
I stayed single for a while after that.
Diagnosed, misdiagnosed...BPD, bi-polar, crazy plain and simple.
Lots of therapy for me, my kids, for our family.
8 years after the last serious man in my life, I tried again.
We are on our 6th year.
The kids are mostly grown now, my baby is 15....
This new phase of my life, where I bawl when seeing a birth on TV, knowing I will never have a baby. I am 44 years old, crying about never having another baby, never being able to nurse a baby, this thought devastates me. I have birthed and nursed 3 children and helped raise 2 teenage girls with my spouse. I couldn't handle a baby, but I still bawl about it.
I keep reliving my grandmother's death, she died the day after New year's 2016, I miss her so terribly. I have panic attacks regularly now, sobbing episodes, losing words that I need to speak, forgetting where I put my keys, and mood swings, MENOPAUSE here I come.
My new therapist thinks I have PTSD (never had those letters before LOL) I think she is right, I have had SO much therapy, I have been through so much as well. I still struggle with not being able to fix myself after all these years, but at least I have a new project for myself.
I had to let this all out, now, as I start a new journey of "fixing" me.