my mom

today I found out my mom was arrested, again. same thing happened in 1996. they seized 37 dogs this time, and uncounted other furry and/or feathered creatures. I am numb right now, she needs help. animal hoarding. when I left her house we had 3 dogs and 6 cats, turtles, fish, and birds. I never understood non animal lovers, I have a cat and a dog. she doesn't know her grandkids' names, or ages, she worries about me not getting my dog fixed. I want to cry, but I can't.

all I know is that she was arrested last night, I drove up to see her house, the house I lived in from age 12 till I left at 18. the front door is boarded up, the lawn overgrown, she has a forest for a yard, her poor neighbors, and this daughter who cares, but know all I can do is wait, and watch this all unfold again. the city will go in and "sanitize" the house tomorrow, I will stop by after work, to see if I can speak to someone. they just can't let her out, she needs to be in hospital, she will be in crisis... I may have to bury her. maybe I want to bury her.
thank God, my tears are here, I thought I'd implode just a few minutes ago. I remember being a child, and wishing she'd die, I hope she'll get the help she needs. this will be the second time they empty and sanitize the house, this might kill her. if they let her out without a psych evaluation, what will she do? what am I supposed to do? she can't come stay with me, I fear for my kids' safety. hope to get some answers in my dreams...if and when sleep comes.
will update when I can.