With You my Love

OK so I've been grumpy, tired, confused, angry... and lots of other things in these last few months.
I am currently not happy with me, I feel stuck in a rut... I need change, I need a concrete game plan.
I want to work all this out with you my love. Thank you for being patient when I lose it, thank you for just being there. I want us to create this life of ours, filled with the kids, and pets, and jobs...
I love you, and I am glad to be doing this together. I guess I may still sometimes feel alone in my life, but it isn't anything you do or don't do, it is my old way of thinking, this is something I am working on in therapy.
I just want you to know, my heart knows your heart.

Mother's Day

I am a daughter, I am a Mother.
I don't know where my Mother is,
my kids made me breakfast.

I fear calling my Mother,
I feel guilt, for not being the daughter I want to be,
I feel anger for her not being the Mother I needed.

Woman of Distinction?

I am an ordinary woman, my greatest achievements are my children. I had a rough childhood and I continued the abuse and unhealthy lifestyle into my early adulthood, and I can say I made it, not gloriously, but I am proud. My not so great, but needed moments to become strong enough to go on; the struggles of leaving an unhealthy marriage, being left by a partner and losing custody of my youngest son, both after my last suicide attempt, my greatest regret is putting my children through all these hard times.There were great moments too, like having 3 beautiful, healthy children, recovering from the mental health diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder to finding love again. My pride comes from having lived all those terrible moments, and still want to get up everyday, to continue bettering myself, and seeing my children (and step-children) grow into wonderful people.
I still struggle with chronic depression, and I still have therapy to work on healing my past. I am no better than anyone else, but I am the best me I can be. To my kids, I am their Mom, who nags them and worries too much, but I am certain they know I love them; and to me, that is my greatest accomplishment.
If that makes me a Woman of Distinction, so be it, but there are so many others who fit this title as well, I accept the title on behalf of all women, who's kids know their Mom does all she can to keep them healthy and safe, no matter what it takes. Some work long hours to provide the basics, some stay home to be there... no matter what, we love our kids and want the best for them.